I’ve always been small. Thin. Skinny. Slender. It is what it is. The most I ever weighed is when I waddled into the hospital at 39 weeks pregnant. I was 149lbs. I know, you hate me. I’ve never quite understood the confidence shattering shopping trips. {Until today} Sure I had times where clothing didn’t fit right, or was too big or just not made for my frame, but I never fretted over bathing suit shopping. I loved buying new jeans. And semi formal evening dresses? Cake! I enjoyed shopping, and I had the funds to walk into almost any store and buy off the front racks and walk out feeling pretty, confident and trendy.
Then a baby started growing in my ute, I had cute maternity clothes, a matching bump to go under said clothes and I still felt pretty and confident. My shopping trips to anywhere stopped, but I still had my confidence and my size 4 jeans that fit no problem, post baby.
Postpartum days were filled with yoga pants, t shirts and nursing bras. My baby grew, my stomach and butt shrunk and soon I was needing smaller clothes, smaller bras but my shopping funds were non existent. So I got creative. Having no social life, babysitters or date nights made this seem like less of a challenge, so I stopped caring about my appearance and since Ryann was really the only person I spent days with, {and she thinks I’m rad} I didn’t give it another thought. Until now.
Gift cards are burning holes in my pockets, my uterus is still empty and summer is here…I’m getting more serious about my wardrobe choices. I want a cute and sexy set from Victoria’s Secret, I want to update some of my tops from the Express and perhaps throw a few trendy pieces in the mix. But I barely fill an A cup, the Express is charging $24.50 for a solid tee and trendy? Yeah my budget laughs at the word.
The longer I go in between wardrobe updates, the larger the dollar amount grows and although my bras are tattered, my undies elastic torn I walk out of the stores defeated, with gift cards still burning holes in my pockets. I get it, my post baby body can’t walk into stores and find the perfect jeans or bathing suits. My wallet vomits at the price tags. So don’t hate me, I get it. If it’s not the fit, it’s the price; if it’s not the price it’s my skinny body and shattered confidence.
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