You’re going to hate me, then nod in agreement…

by LCW on May 2, 2011

in all about me,Not so fit and fabulous

I’ve always been small. Thin. Skinny. Slender. It is what it is.  The most I ever weighed is when I waddled into the hospital at 39 weeks pregnant.  I was 149lbs.  I know, you hate me.   I’ve never quite understood the confidence shattering shopping trips. {Until today}  Sure I had times where clothing didn’t fit right, or was too big or just not made for my frame, but I never fretted over bathing suit shopping.  I loved buying new jeans.  And semi formal evening dresses?  Cake!  I enjoyed shopping, and I had the funds to walk into almost any store and buy off the front racks and walk out feeling pretty, confident and trendy.

Then a baby started growing in my ute, I had cute maternity clothes, a matching bump to go under said clothes and I still felt pretty and confident.  My shopping trips to anywhere stopped, but I still had my confidence and my size 4 jeans that fit no problem, post baby.

Postpartum days were filled with yoga pants, t shirts and nursing bras.  My baby grew, my stomach and butt shrunk and soon I was needing smaller clothes, smaller bras but my shopping funds were non existent.  So I got creative.  Having no social life, babysitters or date nights made this seem like less of a challenge, so I stopped caring about my appearance and since Ryann was really the only person I spent days with, {and she thinks I’m rad} I didn’t give it another thought. Until now.

Gift cards are burning holes in my pockets, my uterus is still empty and summer is here…I’m getting more serious about my wardrobe choices.  I want a cute and sexy set from Victoria’s Secret, I want to update some of my tops from the Express and perhaps throw a few trendy pieces in the mix.  But I barely fill an A cup, the Express is charging $24.50 for a solid tee and trendy?  Yeah my budget laughs at the word.

The longer I go in between wardrobe updates, the larger the dollar amount grows and although my bras are tattered, my undies elastic torn I walk out of the stores defeated, with gift cards still burning holes in my pockets.  I get it, my post baby body can’t walk into stores and find the perfect jeans or bathing suits. My wallet vomits at the price tags.  So don’t hate me, I get it. If it’s not the fit, it’s the price; if it’s not the price it’s my skinny body and shattered confidence.

{ 11 comments }

An important phone call

by LCW on April 21, 2011

in Life

Ryann and I settled into our seat, next to a lovely salt and pepper haired lady. She smiled and talked to Ryann while I grabbed snacks and books to entertain her on the flight.

Her name was Jane, she told me of her travels back and forth to Massachusetts to spend time with her grand children. We exchanged baby stories and our dislike of Tampa traffic. It wasn’t long into our conversation when she shared with me her daughter’s story of a double mastectomy and the dreaded C word. Cancer. Jane sandwiched her story with the good parts and finished on a high note. Remission. Cancer free and quality time with grand kids.

Just days before my flight I sat in a pink gown, braless, waiting for a mammogram. At age 29. The lump I thought could only be a cyst, was a solid mass and needed further investigation.

I shared my story with Jane, she was kind and listened to my worries and fears. She said she’d pray all will be well and reassured me that if it was cancer, it wasn’t a death sentence. I chuckled and thought I was silly for worrying about possibly having cancer.

Ryann was fast asleep in my arms, I tuned out to a talk show on the JetBlue in flight satellite television and nibbled on my snack. Interrupted by the captain, we were nearing Boston’s Logan Airport, Jane leaned over with a paper folder in half. She wanted a phone call when I got my results, she said it was important to her. I tucked into a small pouch in my bag and we parted ways.

Fifteen days later as I packed for our extended weekend trip to Charlotte I heard a crinkling sound as I shoved my charger into that same small pouch. I unzipped it and remembered my trip sixteen days earlier, where I sat next to a salt and pepper haired woman. And I thought, I need to call her.

Just the day before I received the phone call I’d been waiting for, one word would change it all. Benign or malignant. A biopsy done six days earlier would give me an answer, that answer was on the other end of that call.

Benign.

I need to call Jane.

{ 28 comments }

My thoughts on….well, I’ll spare you.

by LCW on April 1, 2011

in Random,Ryann

It’s been a while, I know you’re nodding your head in agreement.  My mind is flooded with thoughts, clouding my focus and sometimes crippling me.   I almost wish I was void of thought, I’d have less to think and/or worry about.

I’ve thought about blogging A LOT.  And well, that should count for something.

For now I leave you with these pictures.  Also, Ryann totally reminds me of an eclectic garden gnome or the old lady gardener with a million fury friends.  Her ensemble puts me in a giggle fit, every.time.


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by LCW on March 26, 2011

in Uncategorized

Silly girl.

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It’s only a hobby.

by LCW on March 11, 2011

in all about me

I was only 60 seconds into my wall sit, quads burning, but I held strong and our conversation about Facebook continued.  It’s nice to get going on a subject and not think about the burning in your muscles when you face another 120 seconds against the wall….or longer.

My mind wandered off and thought about social media in general…all the ways I’m connected, we’re connected.  Interrupted in thought, with the question,

“How do you find the time for Facebook?”

Hmmmmm, I thought about the question for  a little bit, thought about social media, saw my timeline scroll in my head, heard the ding of my iphone and retorted with, it’s a hobby.

Social media and blogging is a hobby.

I know when the words came out of my mouth the other mom didn’t quite “get it”. And that’s ok.  It’s ok if you don’t “get” my hobby.  My husband and I are constantly “connected” to the Internet world.  He reads more tech blogs and gadget blogs than I can count or care to remember.  And I enjoy the 140 character thought limit.

Just as your hobbies may be cooking, or photography, or building a business, or reading, or baking, or biking, or running or watching TV, one of my biggest hobbies is staying connected through the many different social media outlets.

I find the time to surf the web, read blogs, comment, tweet, and connect through Facebook just as you find the time to capture the perfectly composed photo, bake the most decadent chocolate lava cake or cook an exquisite meal.

So even though I may not be attending fancy conferences or reading 52 books this year, doesn’t mean I’m wasting my time on the computer.  This is just one of the many hobbies I enjoy, so I find the time.  Simple as that.

Image credit

{ 3 comments }

Farting is funny.

by LCW on March 4, 2011

in Too Funny not to Share

Ryann was up crying at 6am.  This is sort of unusual now a days…so I changed her and brought her back to bed with us.  Snuggled under the covers between JPW and I, she tucked herself into my arms and stroked her beloved blanket.  Her wispy blond hair tickled my nose as I took in her sweet post bath smell.

All was quiet.

And then I felt her tummy tighten and that oh so familiar sound of trapped air escaping and reverberating off her cloth diapered bum.  I giggled.  She giggled. JPW giggled. And she did it again, this time longer and more rhythmic.  Baby farts are funny.   We were all laughing, Ryann laughing,  at us laughing.

Waking at 6am is only entertaining with baby farts.

{ 6 comments }

Early spring cleaning.

by LCW on March 2, 2011

in all about me,Family

On my way home from the library I found a second hand boutique.  It’s like an addiction for me to find high end consignment/boutique type stores.  I live for finding a great deal and still wearing or owning nice, higher end items and clothes.  I also love consigning at these shops because I have so many nice clothes I do not and will not wear anymore. I hate to just get rid of them since I worked really hard to pay for the designer dresses, shoes and handbags.  But I need to get real with myself, I’m not going to wear them again.  There are dresses I bought, and never wore.  Shoes I had to have and the most wear they got were in the house.

Plowing and purging my way through my closet and dresser while the baby napped, I’ve loaded the car with my once beloved pre-baby clothes.  I cannot wait to turn over my BCBG dresses, Ann Taylor cocktail attire and summer espadrilles for some cash money.   I want to continue to look trendy and comfortable while not worrying about peanut butter smudges and milk splotches on my clothes.  And let’s face it…my silk and chiffon dresses are not toddler proof.  I’d rather have money in my pocket than neglected dresses hanging in my closet.

Early spring cleaning has commenced here…if I can’t get rid of all my unwanted and unworn stuff between now and our move?  You’ll see it on the blog or at our curb. Next stop: our garage to tackle my teaching stuff. That needs an entire post to itself {teachers you totally get how I feel, right?}

Doesn’t it feel good to de-clutter your life of unused stuff??  Where do you have luck selling and donating your unwanted items and clothes?

{ 8 comments }

Style stumped a {CONTEST}

by LCW on February 28, 2011

in all about me

I’m style stumped.  I can put together a killer outfit, complete with the trendiest accessories and makeup…IN MY HEAD.  But when I try to make it happen…I fall flat…flat on my no make up face.  So this is where you come in.  I need your help.  I need you to dress me.  Seriously.

I’m the Godmother for my youngest niece, the Christening is being held in MA at the beginning of April.  My budget isn’t going to allow me to buy a whole new outfit + shoes + accessories.  I have to get creative, except I’m style stumped.

I plan on wearing this plain, sweater knit dress.  It’s really cute on, I wore it back in my teaching days with knee high boots.  But it’s painfully plain.  This is where you get to show off your style godess-ness and point me in the right direction with accessories, from head to toe.

The blank canvas:

The Rules: Accessorize me from head to toe.  What can I add to this dress to make it my own {with your help}.  My budget for this is $30 {which includes shipping if ordering online}.  I’m open to handmade shops or driving to the mall/Target {you get the idea}.  In the comment section below, include your ideas complete with links or store names, don’t forget my feet {wedges or boots?}.   Make this blank canvas look stylish and church appropriate.  Your ideas must be submitted by March 7th so I have time to shop and place orders.

The contest: The reader who puts together a look that I love and want to wear will win a Twenty Five Design handmade goodie.

Have fun, I can’t wait to see what you all come up with! And thank you, seriously!

*Twenty Five Design is sponsoring this post by giving the winner one of her specialty items, I am benefiting from your style knowledge, but not her freebies.

{ 8 comments }

Annual spring training Red Sox game.

by LCW on February 27, 2011

in Family

B is for Boston.

C is for cheering and {cute}.

D is for diva.

Our second annual spring training game was a blast.  Ryann loved watching the boys practice and of course an adventure away from home wouldn’t be complete without her blanket.

{ 4 comments }

Bullied on the playground.

by LCW on February 25, 2011

in Parenting,Ryann

Yesterday at the playground, Ryann was bullied.  By seven year old’s. A boy and a girl. Ryann is 17 months old.  A bold statement? Indeed. But true.

Ryann bent down to crawl into a fort like space under one of the big slides, I was right behind her, JPW on the other side waiting for her to pass through. She was blocked by boy child and girl child. She was told no repeatedly.  She was blocked and the entrance was guarded. I glared at JPW, and my heart sank.

JPW spoke up, and threw out words like sharing, allowed, and dictator. The bullies snapped back.  Ryann finally made it through the crawl space.  A few short moments later, she worked diligently at climbing the stairs, again her fun was thwarted.  More words were exchanged, more back talking and more bullying.

I kept looking at the mom’s, were they aware of what their sweet children were doing? Was this acceptable to them?  Unfortunately they had no idea, they were engaged in their own conversations, paying no attention to their children or listening to their words.

This is how bullying starts.  This is why as parents and caregivers we need to be proactive at the playground, engaging and focused on our children.  Ryann was non the wiser that she was being harassed about her playground equipment choices or that she was told to go to another playground, and I’m thankful for that much.

As we walked back to the car I told JPW that I hope we teach our children to stand up for themselves and those around them.  Instead of being the child who refuses to let others join, I hope that Ryann will invite children to play with her. I know one day JPW and I won’t be there to help her or speak those words she doesn’t know yet BUT I hope that we’ll have taught her well enough to stand up to a bully and help those who can’t yet.

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