Bullied on the playground.

by LCW on February 25, 2011

in Parenting,Ryann

Yesterday at the playground, Ryann was bullied.  By seven year old’s. A boy and a girl. Ryann is 17 months old.  A bold statement? Indeed. But true.

Ryann bent down to crawl into a fort like space under one of the big slides, I was right behind her, JPW on the other side waiting for her to pass through. She was blocked by boy child and girl child. She was told no repeatedly.  She was blocked and the entrance was guarded. I glared at JPW, and my heart sank.

JPW spoke up, and threw out words like sharing, allowed, and dictator. The bullies snapped back.  Ryann finally made it through the crawl space.  A few short moments later, she worked diligently at climbing the stairs, again her fun was thwarted.  More words were exchanged, more back talking and more bullying.

I kept looking at the mom’s, were they aware of what their sweet children were doing? Was this acceptable to them?  Unfortunately they had no idea, they were engaged in their own conversations, paying no attention to their children or listening to their words.

This is how bullying starts.  This is why as parents and caregivers we need to be proactive at the playground, engaging and focused on our children.  Ryann was non the wiser that she was being harassed about her playground equipment choices or that she was told to go to another playground, and I’m thankful for that much.

As we walked back to the car I told JPW that I hope we teach our children to stand up for themselves and those around them.  Instead of being the child who refuses to let others join, I hope that Ryann will invite children to play with her. I know one day JPW and I won’t be there to help her or speak those words she doesn’t know yet BUT I hope that we’ll have taught her well enough to stand up to a bully and help those who can’t yet.

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Kristina Ruth February 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm

That’s seems horrible. I’m afraid I would have been the person going up to the moms and telling them off. eeks. I think I would do that. But, I’m not sure what I would have done in that situation.

Sounds horrible either way.

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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 8:55 pm

It was hard to watch for sure. Thanks for your comment.

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Mrs. MidAtlantic February 25, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Heartbreaking that children as young as 7 feel the need to boss around mere babies. Were they getting some sort of power high by bullying a toddler? It’s so pathetic and so sad. I also hope my daughter grows up to be a sharing and inclusive young woman!

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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 8:57 pm

I don’t know w if they thought they were “cute” or were “just playing” but nothing was cute about it. And I agree with you, I hope my daughter never treats anyone that way, much less a baby!

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justine February 25, 2011 at 3:31 pm

that makes me so angry. yesterday, at the gym, a little boy (about 3), walked up to bella (1) and hit her smack in the side of the head with a car. repeatedly. i ran in and grabbed her, trying not to over react or upset her, but i was baffled that the little boys mother did NOTHING and then just sat there on her treadmill as her son hit another kid in the head with his cars. i know kids get rough, and i try not to be over protective, but there is a line, and you’re right-parents need to be aware of what their “angels” are doing. you are never too young (or too old) to be told, “that’s not nice”.

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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Yikes, Im sorry you had to deal with that, poor Bella!

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torie February 25, 2011 at 3:33 pm

This so bothers me. The same thing happened to Rylie and I of course stepped in and the kids back off. It’s so easy to just let our kids run wild at the playground and not know what is going on. I guess we will find out when we get to that stage, but I definitely agree about trying to teach them to stand up for themselves. I just hope with Rylies personality already that she isn’t the one bullying.
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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 8:58 pm

See, at least the kids backed off when you stepped in, these kids, nothing they just talked back and insisted we go to another playground. I think Rylie will be just fine, she has a great mom and dad showing her the respectful way to treat people.

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JPW JPW February 25, 2011 at 3:54 pm

You know how I feel about this stuff. It really pisses me off just thinking about it. To the point of if Ry smacked the kid in the face, I wouldn’t say anything. To the point of, I would knock the kid over and walk away smiling as they cried. I know that’s bad…but they deserve it and it’s how I feel. Beware kids Ry meets who’s parents don’t care to teach them how to play well with others. B/c I have no soul when it comes to this crap…
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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Please don’t get us kicked off a playground, or hit kids…they’ll put you in some kind of registry.

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Elizabeth Flora Ross February 25, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I see this kind of thing all the time, and it makes me SO mad. Moms need to be focused and engaged. But they are completely tuned out. They are either talking to other moms, talking on the phone, or playing on their smartphones.

We used to go to a baby gym, and there was the girl about 2-3 older than my daughter. Anytime she saw my daughter, she would run up to her and push her over. For no reason whatsoever. The mom was never paying any attention. The first and second time, my husband and I addressed the child directly and explained to her that was not nice/acceptable behavior. The third time, my daughter hit her head hard and was screaming. I was furious, but very calmly – and as nicely as I could – explained the situation to the other mom. She immediately disciplined her child and made her apologize to mine. But if I hadn’t have said anything, it would have gone unnoticed. Plus, it was too little too late. Parents need to catch this behavior as it begins and nip it in the bud!

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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I’m sorry you had to deal with that, what is wrong with kids’ parents these days?!?!?! Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

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Mama Fisch February 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm

I think it would be one thing if it was a kid Ryann’s age who just stood there etc…but the fact that the kids were 7 and their mom was there is sad. Really sad. It is why kids have so many SE problems and why SEL is creeping in to school curriculum. Boo on those kids and SHAME on their mama.
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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Shame on their momma’s is right! And if it were another toddler, I wouldn’t have worried or cared at all, they’re learning and it’s bound to happen since they don’t have the words to use yet.

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Krista February 25, 2011 at 8:39 pm

This is just wrong. A seven year old picking on a toddler? And the parents not noticing? There is so, so very much wrong with this scenario. I’m sorry, guys.

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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Thanks friend, it made me sad…I’m so glad Ryann didn’t understand….yet.

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Roxanne February 25, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Stories like this make me so upset. Why can’t other parents just pay attention to their kids and teach them how to be nice people. I think my biggest fear is that my daughter will be bullied or be a bully. I just don’t want her to have to deal with this type of crap.

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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 9:03 pm

It’s so hard, but parents just need to be there. Period.

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Katie February 27, 2011 at 5:47 pm

You and I chatted about this on twitter…but I wanted to say again how much this angers me.

I was in this same spot with my nephew when he was about 3 at Mc Donalds when some MUCH older kids tried to tell him where he could and could not go on the play thing. Really? Those kids didn’t even BELONG on the play thing.

But I stuck my face up there and told those kids to leave my nephew alone and let him go wherever he wanted. Then I marched right over to the “parent” and told her that she needed to have a word with her kids about sharing.

She seemed shocked that I said anything, but that behavior is completely unacceptable!
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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 9:04 pm

You’re a great auntie, and Mom! Thanks for your comment…sucks that this has to be a hot topic of discussion.

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Blair@HeirtoBlair February 27, 2011 at 6:13 pm

This infuriates me. INFURIATES ME.

I think it is so important for parents to PARENT their children, versus letting them just run wild on the playground. Let them explore? Sure. Let them figure it out? Absolutely. But make sure they’re doing it safely, both physically & emotionally.

I would have walked over to the mothers & said something, but because I’m a raging bitch that firmly believes that it takes a village to raise a child. But I would also hope that if Harrison EVER acted that way & I missed seeing it, someone would let me know so I could parent him accordingly.
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LCW LCW February 27, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Thanks for stopping by, it infuriated Jp, that’s his baby girl who was being “pushed” around. But it made me so sad, so so sad for her. I, too, want to know immediately if my kid is acting like a piss-ant….because I won’t stand for my kid to be the punk on the playground. I need to grow a pair so I can be more assertive on the playground, if it happens again.

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Sallie Lott December 14, 2011 at 4:18 am

To the point of if Ry smacked the kid in the face, I wouldn’t say anything. She seemed shocked that I said anything, but that behavior is completely unacceptable!
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