An open letter to the Kiosk sales persons.

by LCW on January 6, 2011

in Too Funny not to Share

Dear Kiosk  Salesperson at the mall,

I understand you are doing you’re very best at making the most sales at your post at the Fill in the Blank Kiosk at the Popular Mall. I also can appreciate that it’s your job to seek out mall shoppers as they whiz by you.  You have been told by your boss  that it’s so important to engage a set number of people per day, get them to try your product and land a sale.  So please forgive the forthcoming letter as nothing more than a suggestion and perhaps a lesson to use in the future.

While I whizzed by you this morning with an 18 pound toddler in my Ergo carrier, 22 pound toddler on my hip and 5 pound diaper bag, it was not because I enjoy hurrying through the mall carrying two toddlers.  I AM NOT AMUSED OR PLEASED OR PHYSICALLY CAPABLE OF LISTENING TO YOUR SHPEAL.  I am LITERALLY not physically able to listen to you sell me the shiny nail stuff, sparkling eye shadow, curling iron or cell phone plan.  I’m not sure if your training class skipped over the part about your target audience, but me? I am not your target audience.

If it wasn’t obvious by me carrying two toddlers and oversized diaper bag, perhaps the fact that I was sweating, getting hit in the face with a snack trap while listening to a disgruntled child would have tipped you off to allow me to continue moving  past you without having to put together two thoughts in order to respond to your, “Ma’am do you have a moment?” or “Ma’am let me tell you about this amazing curling iron”.  No, and no.

So next time you see me, or someone similar to me trying to stay sane and get children in and out of the mall without a stroller, just let them continue walking and engage the sucker, shopper who has a spare moment and two thoughts to put together.  You’re welcome for this useful tip. Best of luck selling that shiny nail stuff.



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