Two weeks ago JPW came up with a fantastic idea. I’ll give you a moment to soak in that last sentence. Ok, moment over. He suggested, well, requested we take turns having nights to ourselves throughout the work week. Nights that we can do and go wherever we want. Shopping, working out, bike riding, anything at all. I chose Monday and Wednesday, because Tuesdays I do diaper laundry and Thursdays I’m exhausted from the work week and swim class and just want to sit and do nothing. Fridays would be our together night and the weekends are family time to do things together and/or plan as we go. A brilliant idea, in fact I was kind of bummed I didn’t think of it first.
Last week I did nothing with both of my nights, in fact I think I was busy cleaning up messes and one of my nights the baby went down to bed closer to 8 and really after that I didn’t feel like doing anything. JPW was only able to use one of his nights as his Thursday was used to work from home on his day job stuff. So really, last week was a bust. And on top of that JapsterInc is super busy and I have had a hard time saying NO lately, so we’re busy, very busy.
This week we were determined to use our nights, to get out on our own and stretch our legs and work out and clear our minds from the craziness that is our work week. I worked from home yesterday so I got a lot accomplished, and last night I was ready to go. I put on my workout gear, jumped on my bike and rode to the gym, then ran/walked for 3 miles and rode home. I felt great, tired, and accomplished. JPW worked diligently on your websites and he crawled into bed a couple of hours after me. Tonight after our dinner and a slumbering baby JPW left on the bike. Except I didn’t want him to. I was annoyed he emptied the trash and didn’t put a new bag in the garbage can. He came to kiss me goodbye and he didn’t understand why I was annoyed, Hello I’m pushing a broom around, putting bags in garbage cans and straightening out the mail that is strewn all over the counter. You see on my nights none of that gets done, I still have to be the maid AND the mom AND the wife AND the chef…and JPW works on websites on my nights and rides the bike on his nights.
And on this particular night when the dogs breathing is annoying me and the washing machine is spinning too loudly and the kitchen light is humming I want him to stay here, rub my back and cuddle up with me. Because really that’s how I wish all of our nights could be spent.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
That IS a brilliant idea. I think I might have to borrow it. Scott has Thursday nights already because he plays volleyball. So I think I'll take Monday or Wednesday night for myself, or maybe both! Of course I'm so exhausted by the time the girls are in bed I'm sure my activity of choice will likely be sleep! Boring!
Kristin recently posted..Becoming Mimi
It's a great plan, until the maid is off duty.
I love it! Great idea… but unfortunately I don't think mothers will ever TRULY have a night off. I'm sure it's all worth it though, I'll let you know how I feel about that in a year or so! ; )
Yeah guess who was up with Ryann the past two nights. If you guessed JP, you're very wrong.
i understand how you feel. my husband works insane hours 90+ for his job and the he does freelance from home. I do all the household stuff – all the stuff with the kids & HE is the one who goes out more then I do … why, well, he has friends around here mainly & i am a built in babysitter.
It is a great idea what you have going if it went the way you hoped it would go! i hope you guys find the balance between work from home, chores, family time & me time!
I think here – it is impossible to find that ::sigh:: Husband would have to be home for more then 3hrs a night … heck, honestly i cant even find the time to shower some weeks…
Devan@ Accustomed Ch recently posted..My House is My Kids Home Too
Most of your nights SHOULD be spent together as a couple – sharing the joy of the baby. Don't get me wrong, Alan and I have our own lives but like many married couples our personal lives have joined beautifully. If we go out, we take Elloit and meet with friends. If we miss an evening together it effects us both negatively= we miss each other! We are independent beings but you know me, I only would procreate with a man whom would share 50%+ the work load; work, cooking, taking care of the baby, laundry….
Having numerous "off" nights a week from the home is more like living with a room mate….no?
This is why I love you Jesse! Miss you girl.
I have to say I LOVE the concept of a few nights off a week but would honestly just settle for one night a month to do nothing or something and be able to walk away from the house guilt free knowing my husband would be putting three kids to bed, making lunches, cleaning up the kitchen, signing school forms, packing school bags, and the ULTIMATE getting up with the baby in the middle of the night.
However that would absolutely NEVER happen in my house.
I envy you for trying, would have been green with envy if it had worked out for you, but am not surprised it worked out more for the person who suggested it than the person who could actually really benefit from it.
Scheduling "days off from the kids" for a mom is like scheduling "sex nights" – something (like a sink full of dirty dishes or a sick baby) trumps it or you just aren't in the mood.
Kudos to you for trying though and for blogging about it – very enjoyable read!
Maija
I think the idea is good in theory, but like you said, you do the housework and such on your nights in but on your nights off, it just doesn't get done. I think it is fair, however, to have at least one night a week where you can do your own thing, but only if it's good timing. Hope you guys can figure it out
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