Growing up I was always on task, had perfectly organized notebooks, binders and a very tidy room. I’d like to think it’s my OCD, but it’s obviously part of me, my personality and just how my brain functions. Being a teacher suited me and my organized lifestyle. I could take the most unorganized student and whip him/her into shape in no time. It was my challenge and I loved it. My brain works in such a way that I number lists and 1 always comes before 2 and 2 before 3, and so on. I just
love need order. If I could take a look into my own brain I image it would be organized like a giant filing cabinet, color coded and numbered and super easy to find whatever it is I’m looking for. I’m visual so my file folders would coordinate and well, I think you get the idea. I’m a bit neurotic and need order to make my world turn.
However, something strange happened shortly after the birth of REW. You see, I believe along with my placenta and modesty went my ability to focus on one task at a time. I’m convinced somewhere between delivery and heading home from the hospital I contracted A.D.D. Now I understand it’s not a disease, nor is it contagious, BUT you see, I am not Attention Deficit. Perhaps JPW gave it to me, or I lost my ability to focus along with my memory but my mind is all over the place, all the time. Or maybe it’s needed when you become a mother? I don’t know, but I don’t like it!
Currently I have three blog posts stewing in my brain. They’re good. They’re raw and they’re just too detailed to quickly jot down right now. It’s Monday morning, I’ve already made tonight’s dinner, made an organized mess along with sorted piles of craft supplies I need to pack away and sell. I have done a load of laundry and yet, I cannot focus on the task at hand. I am making mental lists of things I need to get done today, and throughout the week. For example, but not limited to: making pom poms for REW’s birthday, call Verizon to cancel cable, file the pile of papers on my desk, list and sell craft supplies on Ebay, clean up guest room for my mom, start tomorrow night’s dinner, start a list of how I want to organize the garage (totally serious) and look at plane tickets to get up and help with my Gram. See? Ridiculous!
My mind is all over the place. I only drink one cup of coffee a day. JPW says coffee turns him into an asshole, I think coffee turns me into a womanly version of the Tasmanian devil. I’m glad I have the energy, but really I’m out of control. If I’m absent or appear to be on some of drug while talking to you, don’t be alarmed it’s my OCD and A.D.D clashing and jousting their way to the top.
But thanks for reading and if you have any tips on how I can stay more focused send them my way! Do YOU ever feel like this? And if so, how do you stop and focus and relax?