What’s your definition of the American Dream? Is it home ownership? Is it living debt free? Is it calling a suitable house, home, whether rented or purchased? Does the American Dream exist anymore?
I want a yard for our kids to run around in and a huge swing set for them to climb on and make forts. I want a fenced yard for the dogs and a doghouse to shade them from the heat. I want to live within a reasonable driving distance to my parents and family. I want our kids to have a play room turned bonus room that they’ll remember hanging out in when they’re 5, 10, 15 and inviting high school friends over. I want storage space. I want an island in my kitchen and I want a home to call our own. I want to live without debt. Is owning a home worth it for all of the above? Can I find a suitable home for our children to grow up in and still be a renter? Will knowing that I owe nothing be worth it knowing I don’t own a home?
I sit on a proverbial fence. Right now I am both a homeowner AND a renter. Problem at our current rental home: I call or email the landlords and they take care of it. Something isn’t exactly what I would choose, it’s okay, I only have to live with it for another 16 months. Our tenants call or email us about something at OUR house? I freak out. I mean what could possibly go wrong, it’s a brand new home, built 3 yrs ago by me. What do you mean the air conditioner stopped working? I get a little sad that I am not there and someone else is potentially “breaking” my home. But I’ll never live there again. And honestly I want nothing more than to get rid of it. I’m enjoying the relaxed feeling of being a renter. I do not miss the extra bills associated with being a homeowner and the idea of living debt free one day is very appealing to me.
What are your thoughts? Is home ownership defining you and how your raise your family? Does a perfectly manicured yard and big beautiful kitchen island only available with a mortgage attached? Because I can say with complete honesty once the market turns around you’ll see a For Sale sign in the front yard of our house and I’m ok with renting a beautiful home for my family if it means more cash in our pockets. What’s your American Dream?
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
The home we are living in not is not the home we will live in forever. We own a 3 bedroom townhouse – perfect for our life right now. condo fees take care of the yard and snow removal and any of the HUGE expenses like roofing, doors, windows etc. Perfect for us right now since my husband works 80+hr a week & i just honestly have no time to do all that.
We are comfortable here – it fits us but the place needs some work. We are ok with not having a HUGE yard or a massive kitchen or the newest furniture. Our goal before having our children was to allow a stay at home parent – living on one income until at least they are all full time in school. That was our goal first – not a massive perfect home.
You are right though – the location is everything – for us! Since i cant drive & hubby is gone we chose a home next to everything we need in walking distance. Parks, library, community center, grocery store (which sells GF foods), our 2 banks … it is perfect.
We will eventually get our dream house – but our first dream was to have a stay at home parent & we are so thankful we are able to make that work.
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Your goals sound similar to mine. I'm so glad you found a place that fits your needs right now. Thank you for your input.
This is something that Nate & I have been discussing seriously for several months – that if/when we sell our home, do we jump into purchasing another one, or do we simply rent for awhile?
Rent while we're not sure where we'll be in five years. Rent so that the air conditioner & garage door are someone else's problems. Rent for a lower monthly payment, so I can stay home. Rent so that if Nate wants to take a job in another state, we can simply pick up & leave without worrying about two housing payments.
I don't know what the right answer is. Obviously, it's different for every family but I think, in all seriousness, that renting may be the way we go for a brief future until we figure out where we really want to be.
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I feel exactly the same way you do. It's obviously a decision that isn't taken lightly and a lot of thought and prayer to get to the *right* decision for our family. But the prospect of having freedom financially and physically is so nice and a dream that CAN come true. Best of luck to you in your decisions.
I guess when I think of the American Dream, I don't necessarily think of whether or not I rent or own. I mainly think that I can raise my family in a land where we are free to live wherever we want to live, go to church wherever we want to go and live the way we want to live knowing that we have the freedom to do so. We own our house…but we are far from debt free! But when I take our evening walks and I see all the children playing outside with not a care in the world, that's when I'm the happiest.
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so true, the American Dream doesn't have to be about owning vs. renting. Thank you for sharing.
My American Dream is to feel somewhat settled. We too have a house in another state. I would love to get rid of the thing. Right now we are blessed to live in a home that we have to pay debt but don't have a mortgage. Long story. I want to feel settled and begin to look into schools for my children. I really miss the feeling of being a kid and not having to worry about anything. But, I guess that's life right?
I want to be able to bring in a supplemental income for my family at home. And I definitely want to be able to be debt free. I'd love to be able to work from home and bring in such an income that we can live anywhere in the country we want and not have to worry about it.
Thank you for sharing. I too would love to have some supplemental money…of course once we get rid of the mortgage that lingers over us!
We just bought our first home 6 months ago. We were paying the same to rent a house half this size because the landlord had a higher IR than what we got for this house. When we lived in an apartment in KS we weren't paying much less than we are for this house, but living on the 1st floor of a college town apartment wasn't enjoyable after the first few months of newness wore off. I think it was important for us to personally buy because we needed to feel grounded. We wanted to be able to live in a house and paint whatever we wanted to paint however we wanted to, we wanted to be able to settle in and make changes and make it ours with out risking crazy fee's when we moved out. And we wanted to be able to fix things that we needed fix in our time on our schedule and our way.
Yes, I understand this too. As we're both homeowners and renters. I guess it's a decision we'll have to make by next year. But the freedom of living completely debt free is so appealing too! Glad you have found your dream home and feel settled.
We actually sat on both sides of the fence too. After we moved, it took us over a year and a half to sell our home (we put it on the market at the peak of the housing crisis). It was very frustrating because we weren't renting it out.
We have rented since then out of fear of getting burned and because we like the freedom we feel if we decide we need to make moves for our careers. We're both young and could go many places with our careers so merely cutting a lease short is very different from trying to sell a home.
There are days when I miss having MY OWN HOME. I don't care what people say, it's just not the same when you rent. You don't have that same pride in the home. You don't decorate it the way you want or fill the yard with flowers. But it is still home no matter what and I love where we live. What's better? Picking up the phone and calling the Management Company when something is broken and not having to worry about getting it fixed ourselves.
Don't get me wrong, there are tons of pluses to owning a home and at some point we will buy again, but for now, this is our home and that's fine! As long as the heart and ones you love are in the home, that's all that matters.
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You are absolutely right, home is where the loved ones rest their head each night! Thank you so much for your insight.
have you read about our nightmare? (believe me, i don't pretend to think that anyone reads what i write,….lol) this is it: http://justine0520.blogspot.com/2010/06/not-for-f…
and this:
http://justine0520.blogspot.com/2010/06/speechles…
you don't have to read it. it's mostly pics. when we moved to GA we decided to rent out our condo in hawaii, and rent an apartment here. we ended up getting a property management company to deal with our worthless tenants.
i don't say that to give you more anxiety. but we are in the same boat. we designed and remodeled our condo and it was beautiful and perfect. when we found out i was pregnant, i was so excited to get to georgia and rent a huge house, but because of our condo, we decided to rent an apartment. not exactly my dream. but it's a temporary situation. at least, until we sell our condo.
but i remember my childhood home, and while now, i wouldn't want to live there again (it was tiny, and had awful carpet) i have wonderful memories from it. and our house we moved into when i was in middle school-now, is big with a big beautiful backyard and a wrap around porch, and my memories from there are no better than the ones from our little crappy house my parents rented. i don't think kids care as much about those things as adults do.
blah. that's a lot. sorry. =) this is a touchy topic in our house too. (i hate this place, and hubby is more "practical"……jerk, lol)
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I totally understand what you mean by adults caring more. And I will go check out those posts!! Thanks for sharing your story. You never know who's in a similar situation until you let the world read your thoughts.
Craig & I built a house last year, up until then we were both renters. When we added up how much we spent in rent over 14 years for him and 7 years for me, the number made me throw up in my mouth. I finally understood what everyone said about "throwing your money away renting." BUT. That being said… I don't think I would have done it any differently. (And actually probably couldn't have – no bank would have given me a loan on my own.) The headaches were someone elses for all of those years and frankly, the freedom was so nice.
Having a house was never my American Dream. It was (and still is) more about having a home to share with my family, a place to host Christmas dinners and a yard that my kid can run around in. If we find ourselves renting again someday in the future, because it's what's right for us, I'd be OK with that.
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It's a hard line to walk, and I don't know if my American Dream is what it used to be.
For me, it was/is important that we own the home we’ll raise our family in. I wanted to feel well established and have roots somewhere. I’m not saying that you can’t do that by renting but for me, it doesn’t feel the same. No one likes to have debt but sometimes carrying some debt is worth it. We’re fortunate that we were recently able to pay off our debt and still own a single family home in a town that we love AND have a rental property (not by choice). It was hard and stressful getting to this point, but we did it. Our mortgage is not small and our home is not big, fancy or exactly what I dreamed of, but it’s home. We’re making it what we want it to be. More important, to me, than all of that was being able to SAH and raise my children. It would matter if we owned or rented. I think once you get to the location you want to be in, the rest will fall into place.
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That's great you were able to live with only one mortgage at this point. I'm so torn on what we'll do once we move out of FL. Will we buy? Will be rent until we find our "dream" home? So many decisions right now, because ultimately our dream is for me to stay at home until I'm ready to move onto something else.
At least in this country our dreams are still in reach. In many places of the world that is not true. I am thankful that my kids are healthy and I can worship the God that I want too. I am thankful to have a nice roof over our heads even though it's not exactly perfect, and cars in our garage that work even if they are both 2001 models. Though I have dreams to reach for I continue to remember to count my blessings. There is always more to hope for, but I hope that I appreciate what I have now.
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This is a beautiful comment and you're right on so many levels. Thanks for sharing.
For a long time, I believed that the American Dream was homeownership, having employment and enjoying retirement. But the more I dive into the culture of this country, trying to understand things, I'm realizing the American Dream is "More". More of everything. Renting? You should be doing MORE, you should BUY. You own a home? You should be doing MORE, you should renovate to increase its value… or sell it for a bigger one! You have a 3G iPhone? You need MORE, you should really buy the iPhone 4, what you have isn't good enough.
It's this constant cycle of consumption of goods, resources and time. It's all about productivity and stuff in this country.
Whether that's a good thing or bad thing, I'll leave up to you, but I think the American Dream has become something much different than it was a mere 20-30 years ago.
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Nish, I think you're absolutely right. Everything has to be bigger, better, louder, fancier, more expensive. I, too, believe the American Dream has been lost.
We own our home now. And while there are things I really love about it, there are things that drive me absolutely crazy. It's much MUCH smaller than we wanted, but when we went to buy, we had a very strict budget. For us, buying was better than renting. With renting we get nothing for all the money we put in. Since buying? We have equity in something. I don't know. There also aren't really any HOUSES around here to rent–only apartments.
I have a whole "someday" list though…sigh…
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I understand what you mean about owning your house and having to stay within a certain budget. A someday list is a great goal to work towards….I mean what's their to strive for if you have no goals.
Is home ownership the American Dream for everyone? I don't know. For us, it is a small part of our dream. We rented for several years in Seattle and eventually bought a great little started home. We got married after buying that house and it was where we lived when Peanut was born.
We loved that house and we loved Seattle, but part of our "American Dream" was to raise our kids close to family. And somewhere we could own land and raise our own food crops and chickens and live a better life for us.
So we put that city house on the market and moved to Idaho. We still live in a "city" but it is a place that has family and we knew we could get a house and land and do the things we wanted. It took us 9 months to sell the Seattle house while we lived with my parents but it was worth it.
We are now working on our dream – we bought a house on almost half an acre that is still in a nice "neighborhood". We are have started growing vegetables and will do more next year along with chickens. My parent are a 10 minute drive. We both have good jobs.
Our only debt is the house and the car we just bought. And we bought the bigger car so we could go to a one car family. We can ride our bikes to the store and the farmers market. It works for us.
Thank you for sharing and what a fantastic dream of yours! I wish I had a green thumb.
We own & I wish we didn't. While renting a house large enough would be almost the same in cost, since we own a 1 bedroom condo- It would be nice to just not WORRY.I literally get scared to look at our neighbors open houses knowing that if we had to sell we'd loose at least a bit right now. Knowing I dumped my life savings into this place because the market was so great & we'd be here for 5 years tops & we'd walk away with enough for OUR FOREVER house. But, it's been 3.5 years & it appears that we will be here with 3 children A LOT longer than originally planned.
Girl, I know what you mean about not wanting a house right now. It sickens me to see what little value my house is now when it's awesome (to me). Hang in there, it won't be this horrible forever.
Exactly the debate we are having now. We sold our home by the grace of God last Feb. It took us 2 years and we barely broke even, but we needed more space, we had to get out of there. So, we sold and now we rent. We didn't want to jump in to a new home just for the sake of closing in 30 days. Our rental home is close to our dream home. We have everything we need in a house, but something is missing. The piece of me that feels rooted and established is missing.
They say that for our generation who will likely never own a home outright and with the market the way it is, we are better off renting. We have little to gain by owning a home in a market where homes aren't gaining value. We live completely debt free now, we don't have car payments, a mortgage payment, or cc debt, I should be perfectly happy renting….but I'm not. It feels uncomfortable for me, like I'm a perpetual guest in someone else's house. I probably need to get over that, and just be thankful that we can afford the rent, we have cash in the bank, and have the freedom to move/live where ever we choose.
Good food for thought, for sure.