Fears conquered.

by LCW on June 3, 2010

in Sans Baby

I thought leaving Ryann for the first time for nearly 5 hours was terrifying enough for me, but then we were dangerously close to an 8 foot alligator and eighteen spiders jumped into our canoe.   So yeah, that’s our canoe trip in a nutshell; but our adventure sans baby was hysterically horrifying not to tell you the whole story.

I kissed Ryann a million and one times, prepared a one page detailed note of Ryann’s morning, from her schedule, to shmearing Aquaphor on her butt and left reluctantly.  I turned my phone on the loudest ringer and put it in my pocket, justincase.  I told JPW how much I missed her, but knew she was safe and then I got a text that put my weary heart at ease:  ” All is well….she went down for her nap around 8:15…happy baby…so dear…thanks for the sweet pleasure of keeping her. She is pure JOY.” I thought to myself, that’s right, my baby is pure joy, she smiles all the time, makes funny noises and is truly amazing to watch explore the world around her. And then I thanked my mother in law for the update and breathed a sigh of relief.  Now I could truly relax and enjoy the canoe trip.

We saw lots of birds, listened to nature and took in her beautiful work around us.  And then I saw it, the biggest alligator evah!  He was sunbathing amongst the lillypads on a mound of mud.  I wanted a closer look and better angle to get a picture.  We had turned around, I instructed JPW (who was in charge of steering the canoe) to stay to the RIGHT of the big log; it would give me something to hold onto and keep a safe distance from the giant alligator.  Except JPW went LEFT and we slowly started drifting closer to the giant alligator, so with my right hand I’m trying to get a picture and with my left hand I’m holding onto my paddle and then I started PANICKING.  My heart was racing, my cheeks got flush and voice quivered as I yelled to JPW to get us the eff out of there.  Do you remember the post about my fear of alligators? Well it soon was becoming a reality.  The alligator was going to climb into or teeny tiny canoe and eat us and my poor baby girl would be left motherless.  In the .05 seconds all of this is happening all I could think about was Ryann being left motherless because I was stupid enough to think I could get a better shot.

AND THAT’S NOT EVEN THE WORST PART….we scared the alligator away the closer we drifted, crisis averted, right?!  In our quick attempt to back paddle JPW ran us into a low tree limb, I reached up to grab it to protect my head and body from getting knocked out or scratched to death and EIGHTEEN EIGHT LEGGED ARACHNIDS JUMPED IN OUR CANOE.  I thought I freaked out when we got within feet of a giant alligator but no, now I was freaking out.  There was screaming, cursing, name-calling and pleas to get my paddle. Yes through all of the screaming, panting, and hyperventilating I dropped my paddle.  I dropped my paddle in alligator infested waters.  Ugh.  Paddle rescued just in time to swat at the creepy crawlies in the boat.  My heart was beating out my chest both from fear and laughter.  I told JPW I wanted to go home, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had spiders crawling all over me, or the feeling that any future alligators we’d see would crawl into our boat and eat us.

My days of living on the edge are numbered, I’m fairly certain I subtracted a few years off my life Saturday morning.  We arrived home 5 hours later, unscathed, to a happy,clapping, baby.  I conquered my fear of alligators and leaving Ryann.

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