I thought leaving Ryann for the first time for nearly 5 hours was terrifying enough for me, but then we were dangerously close to an 8 foot alligator and eighteen spiders jumped into our canoe. So yeah, that’s our canoe trip in a nutshell; but our adventure sans baby was hysterically horrifying not to tell you the whole story.
I kissed Ryann a million and one times, prepared a one page detailed note of Ryann’s morning, from her schedule, to shmearing Aquaphor on her butt and left reluctantly. I turned my phone on the loudest ringer and put it in my pocket, justincase. I told JPW how much I missed her, but knew she was safe and then I got a text that put my weary heart at ease: ” All is well….she went down for her nap around 8:15…happy baby…so dear…thanks for the sweet pleasure of keeping her. She is pure JOY.” I thought to myself, that’s right, my baby is pure joy, she smiles all the time, makes funny noises and is truly amazing to watch explore the world around her. And then I thanked my mother in law for the update and breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could truly relax and enjoy the canoe trip.
We saw lots of birds, listened to nature and took in her beautiful work around us. And then I saw it, the biggest alligator evah! He was sunbathing amongst the lillypads on a mound of mud. I wanted a closer look and better angle to get a picture. We had turned around, I instructed JPW (who was in charge of steering the canoe) to stay to the RIGHT of the big log; it would give me something to hold onto and keep a safe distance from the giant alligator. Except JPW went LEFT and we slowly started drifting closer to the giant alligator, so with my right hand I’m trying to get a picture and with my left hand I’m holding onto my paddle and then I started PANICKING. My heart was racing, my cheeks got flush and voice quivered as I yelled to JPW to get us the eff out of there. Do you remember the post about my fear of alligators? Well it soon was becoming a reality. The alligator was going to climb into or teeny tiny canoe and eat us and my poor baby girl would be left motherless. In the .05 seconds all of this is happening all I could think about was Ryann being left motherless because I was stupid enough to think I could get a better shot.
AND THAT’S NOT EVEN THE WORST PART….we scared the alligator away the closer we drifted, crisis averted, right?! In our quick attempt to back paddle JPW ran us into a low tree limb, I reached up to grab it to protect my head and body from getting knocked out or scratched to death and EIGHTEEN EIGHT LEGGED ARACHNIDS JUMPED IN OUR CANOE. I thought I freaked out when we got within feet of a giant alligator but no, now I was freaking out. There was screaming, cursing, name-calling and pleas to get my paddle. Yes through all of the screaming, panting, and hyperventilating I dropped my paddle. I dropped my paddle in alligator infested waters. Ugh. Paddle rescued just in time to swat at the creepy crawlies in the boat. My heart was beating out my chest both from fear and laughter. I told JPW I wanted to go home, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had spiders crawling all over me, or the feeling that any future alligators we’d see would crawl into our boat and eat us.
My days of living on the edge are numbered, I’m fairly certain I subtracted a few years off my life Saturday morning. We arrived home 5 hours later, unscathed, to a happy,clapping, baby. I conquered my fear of alligators and leaving Ryann.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
OMGA!! I would have died I swear! I have never been close to an alligator in real life {well, the zoo but that's not real life} – I'm lucky they arent here in Toronto…
The spiders would have killed me too. I . HATE . SPIDERS! {I'm not much for outdoors, does it show?} Sounds like you had a mega interesting time!
Glad you survived leaving Ryann. Today i find myself like you were a week ago – dreading! Big P has is first practice time at school tomorrow – ive never left him and now i have to leave him 3 days a week … so I'm freaking
I'm here for the $10. Oh yeah, and your husband makes the first picture…owns it! It's hard to own something from the background, but he does it. Who's the big winner? Your husband.
Okay, so I hate alligators, and spiders, well and every other bug! That is great that you guys were able to get out! It is always nice knowing that your baby is well, while you are gone! I am like you Lindsey, I hate leaving Bailey! I work 2 days a week and Bailey stays with me partly and my Mom takes her, so at least I know she is safe, but I always miss her! Good Job Momma (I guess the guys are used to it because they leave everyday?!)!
Ok. On the plus side? You didn't drop the camara.
Atta girl.
Next time, pack a big ol' whomping shoe. Then you can whomp the tar out of the spiders, and feel all empowered doing it.
As far as the alligator is concerned, I'm really not sure why you did not bring a machete or similar on your canoe-in-the-swamp trip. Living in the wilderness, I have come to the conclusion that one should never leave home without a machete or flamethrower. Either is a necessity and the machete fits quite nicely in a diaper bag.
I'm glad Ryann did so well with your MIL. It's hard leaving, but it's good to get that time away.
Ha! I had the same thought, at least the camera was okay!
LOL. Oh holy crap the spiders would have been the end of me. I shivered just reading it.
Also, for some weird reason it takes FOREVAH for your feed to show up in my google reader. Like I saw on FB that you posted this and it still isn't in my reader yet.
Wow, what an adventure! Remind be again why you decided to get JPW a canoe trip through alligator and spider infested waters? Crazy girl. I think secretly you like life on the edge, don’t you? He, he.
The text from your MIL was perfect. I remember the first day back to work and how stressed I was. Within the first hour I got a photo text from my pal who was watching her. She was playing on the floor, smiling away, with a note that said “she’s doing great. Call as much as you want to check on her.” I completely understand the relief.
OMG that’s so scary. I would of been SOL my husband is terrified of spiders!
I might need to come to you for support when I have to leave the babe in July…for TWO days! Ugh!
Hilarious
omfg I would have died when the spiders jumped into the canoe.
Also, I have no doubts that your little one was a perfect angel (she’s still little after all), but remember this for the future: no MIL is going to EVER admit defeat, lest she not be allowed to babysit in the future. great advice that I learned from my mom.
Oh holy crap, I would have DIED!! Not so much from the alligator part, but more like the EIGHTEEN SPIDERS!!!
I’m glad you were able to narrowly escape with your lives and make it back safely to Ryann
Alligators and monster spiders? goodness where do you canoe?!?! I just get scared of cold water here in Michigan!
I’m so glad to hear everything worked out with Ryann! Hopefully you guys will be able to get away now once in a while with no worries!
And that first picture? So cute! Your hubs in the background is hilarious!
http://justine0520.blogspot.com/2010/05/three-hour-tour.html
we had a similar experience…….no gators or spider. THANK GAWD because i might have died. i probably would have panicked, then thrown myself overboard, because i was panicking and gotten eaten by the gator. real dumb. but glad it went well and you guys didn’t get eaten. =)