…actually a bitch is one. cali (our female mutt) tests my nerves daily…here’s a list of *some* of my issues:
- i hate elmo with his baby talk, stupid songs with one word to the jingle bells theme, and constant third person references (really, it makes me angry)
- i wouldn’t wear shoes at all if i could get away with it
- my dreams often involve death
- i swear too much in my posts (here’s how i see it, it’s just a word made by a man to have a meaning. if the definition of shit was a green tree, then it would be socially acceptable to say hey look at that nice shit, isn’t it beautiful. how is saying crap or shoot or any other alternative word any better? if i’m thinking it, i’ve already committed the sin and i’d be lying if i said something that i wasn’t thinking…so instead of making it worse…i say what comes to my mind…this also gets me in a lot of trouble sometimes)
- i overshare
- i love a good argument (some of my best analogies come to me when i’m really into it)
- i’m entirely too technical to be of any use
- making the bed every day doesn’t make sense to me…we’re just going to mess it up again in 16 hours and no one is coming into our room
- sometimes i wish i was stupid so i didn’t think so much
- i feel almost happy when i think about someone “bad” dying that I think deserved it
- i can disconnect extremely easily from all emotions and move on
- secretly i enjoy writing about dark gloomy things…dark movies and books are great as well
- i’m addicted to technology…but also don’t want to buy another thing…
- i can take a word out of a sentence and start singing a song that has that word in it (this is what happens in my head when someone is talking to me)
- tv makes me feel useless
- i like to enjoy silence in extremely long doses (weeks without interaction doesn’t bother me one bit)
- i’m happier with less…i’m beginning to hate stuff
- my attitude is 50% relaxed, 40% don’t care, 5% don’t bother me, 5% annoyed at all times
- i feel annoyed every day right after lunch
- i want to run an ultra marathon in freezing conditions (20 below zero at times) http://www.arrowheadultra.com/index.html
- getting up early makes me grumpy all day
- i’m selfishly immune to “dangerous” activities
- i have no patience lately
- i don’t like to repeat myself
- i zone out when listening to someone else talk…it’s not my forte’
- i’d rather be outdoors any day (yeah even freezing rain…with the right gear of course)
- if i could survive without eating, i would…it’s a waste of time
- i could never be a caregiver….i don’t enjoy taking care of anyone or anything
- i try not to judge anyone…but i still do
- sometimes, i’ll say absolutely anything to get someone to stop talking
- i wish i could judge and kill any guy who has every hit a woman/child
- i sometimes wish i could do the same to sports announcers
- i wish Ed Gerhard would beat up every so called musician out there
- i can’t stand the radio but would rather listen to that than Ry scream in the back seat (live long Pandora)
- i lived in a tiny apartment 5 days a week for almost a year with just a blow up mattress, one sheet, one pillow, one fork, one pocket knife, one spoon, some frozen food, a microwave, one toothbrush, one bar of soap, one towel, and some clothes…and felt extremely happy and at ease
- i drove from FL to CO to UT…and loved every second of it
- all babies screaming (even Ry’s) drives me i-n-s-a-n-e
- i enjoy manual labor jobs
- i don’t like the light to be turned on in the bathroom at night…it bothers me b/c i’m getting ready for bed and don’t want a bright light in my eyes
- LCW is a creature of habit…we argue about this sometimes (it just doesn’t make sense to me)
- dr’s annoy me…if you weren’t sick when you went in being around all the sick people will probably make you sick. plus most of the time, all they do is give you a prescription to something that will probably go away in a few days.
- i hate the idea of paying for someone elses health-care b/c i make more than they do. i’m penalized for taking care of myself and having a good job…yeah that makes sense. some womens legs should be sewn shut
- i honk my horn for obnoxiously long periods of time. i also swerve and honk at people who are texting when i’m driving alone secretly hoping they will crash…not get hurt…just enough to wreck their car so they don’t hurt/kill anyone in the future
- rap is really getting on my nerves…any moron can talk over a beat. underground bands is where it’s at lately
- i spit a lot…
- i like to live in different places…apparently it’s a bad thing for your credit score
- i’m addicted to prime numbers
- i hate that all speakers aren’t electronically shielded…so does my iphone
- windows 7 is the same as vista…i want to slap anyone who believed their marketing scheme
- i don’t understand people who say they would be bored if they didn’t have a job…that’s just stupid
- i’d travel to a different location every day if i could
- i don’t want world peace…how boring would that be
- i’m a realist…don’t argue with facts
- i’ll yell at a computer
- cheap electronics spawn impulse buys for me
- i’m immediately skeptical of anyone with medical/psychological issues
- i suck at golf
- i believe in super hero’s
- i’ll be cold-hearted before telling anyone what’s on my mind
- i move/shake almost constantly
- villains on movies/tv shows make me angry
- james bond music should only be used in james bond
- obvious jokes aren’t funny
- cops piss me off…don’t you have something better to do than shoot radar for someone doing 15 over the speed limit trying to go to work. why not arrest a crack head or stop that guy from beating his wife
- i hide details to make people ask questions so I know they’re paying attention
- i hate to repeat myself (notice the repetition…)
- i compartmentalize my life (family here, work there, fun there, etc.)…and like it that way
- sometimes i’ll try to start a fight (not fist) with someone at the office b/c I’m bored
- my favorite movie is played backwards (momento)
- i like to be organized but could care less about being clean (orderly and dirty is better than clean and un-orderly)
- i bite my nails (i use to even bite my toenails)
- ryann, the dogs and i all have the same gas problem
- listening to our dogs lick themselves and drink water gives me a tick
- i have trust issues with odd things
- cell phones ringers annoy me (cell phones shouldn’t have audible ringers…only vibrate on different levels)
- i like role playing games
- i’m addicted to 24 but will only watch it on Netflix (i don’t play the wait 1 week game)
- graphing paper makes me happy…so do non mechanical roseart pencils
- i laugh a lot when people get really upset at me…it makes them angry
- i write life saving algorithms in scripting code…even though i shouldn’t (it’s not safe but it’s quicker)
- helping someone for free makes me happy…most people don’t get this (i certainly wouldn’t do my job for free…maybe that explains a lot)
- i wish time away, then want it back
- i think respect is more important than love
- i don’t kiss my wife as much as i should (she does a lot for us)…it’d be easier if she only needed respect…love is hard
- the thought of eating breakfast right after waking up makes me feel sick
- i no longer enjoy taking care of our dogs. it use to be fun, but now it’s just another thing to do
- celebrities make mankind look stupid and should be removed…go away Kate Gosselin
- if someone hurt my family, i would make it my mission to torture them every day..but not let them die (yeah it’s wrong, but it’s how i feel)
- people who whisper annoy me…speak up
- don’t interrupt me while i’m speaking…but i do it other people quite often (mostly to save them from re-explaining something i already understand)
- i start lots of projects and don’t follow through with them. my favorite part is the hardest part of setting it up…then i get bored with it
- i talk 100x more than any engineer i know
- i’d rather talk on the phone…but keep it short. don’t text me or write me an email when it’s easier to call and explain it
- i get hangnails and sty’s constantly
- i’m very touch oriented…(lingerie doesn’t make sense…you’re paying more money, for less clothing…which is going to be removed anyway? who’s buying into this?)
- don’t tell me any phone is currently better than the iPhone…i’ll provide you an exhausted technical list of reasons your palm pre or droid is inferior (although android is getting better and may surpass in coming years. but palm is up for sale)
- i screen all my calls…and don’t answer blocked calls. that’s like someone’s knocking on your door and you look out the peep hole to see a person dressed in a trench coat and their face covered)
- i like reading womens baby blogs (it’s entertaining, free, and i can relate to it on some level)
- smacking gum…i’ve already talked about this one here
Despite all my issues, I’m probably the most laid back person you’ll ever meet. I just have very specific ticks that I think directly interact with my ADD.
PS: We’ve also added a new way to log in. so you can use your facebook, twitter, blogger, myspace, yahoo, windows live, typepad, google, aol, etc. login as well to leave a comment. Many more changes are in the works
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
And I married him despite these "issues". I hope Ryann got the BEST of both of us.
Your picture is not correct. You do realize that Ice-T is the one that came up with that rhyme. Punk!!!!
Let's start with the fact i rarely comment on posts…I think I'm still in the single digits with that.
Next I'm totally pissed that I didn't think of this idea and may find a way to sue you for plagiarism of an idea I got after you did (it will be a tough case for me to win)
4. Totally agree…my wife is a teacher and hates swearing…I always say it's just word we arbitrarily decide are bad.
6. I love arguments and also shine with analogies while in one.
8. totally, why make a bed you;re gonna screw up in less than 24 hours
9, 10 11, 13. me too
18. my ratios are pretty close
21, 22, 23, 24, 25. me too
29. not sure why you gave up judging people
31. contradict your 29 but i agree and would add animals
37. I agree and have never, and will never tell anyone what it makes me think of.
39. it's stupid to think it should be turned on
41. I just don't go to them unless I'm sick for 2 weeks…or Staci get's so mad that she's been telling me to make an appointment that actually going is the only way to stop her nagging
42. kind of disagree a bit, but also kind of agree (especially the 2nd half)
43. I hope they get hurt but don't hurt someone else
45. i've been spitting a lot lately
46. me too
49. windows doesn't deserve a number on this list
50, 51. agree
63, 64. totally agree
69. freaking love Momento
72. I just blame it on the dog so really she's the only one with the problem
75. Holy shit…I totally agree and thought I was the only one…makes it harder to find when lost though
83, 84. me too
85. breakfast right after waking up makes me want to puke
88. totally agree
90. I agree and I'm guilty of the same
91. me too
93. Couldn't disagree more…I hate the phone. Also hate email and text but there are no other options when face to face can't be done.
95. agree
96. I'll need the list…I'm a huge Apple fan, have been since I was 5 using an Apple II, but the Palm Pre has had multitasking since day 1, the keyboard rocks, screen has same resolution but is smaller so it's better, has a fantastic interface with the cards, breaks down the walls of iTunes with every update. If it could solve a the problem of keeping memory unavailable when a program closes and if it could get a better cache of apps it would be perfect. And yeah I know it's for sale.
97, 98, 99. me too
I made it about a quarter of the way down and felt as if i was reading my own thoughts. Great stuff If I could pay attention long enough I would read the rest. "Yo my cousin hope you have a dozen". Hope that annoyed you as much as it did me:)
Good Lord JP, and I thought it was hard coming up with a post that doesn't just involve pictures. You outdid yourself on this one. However, I think the list should have been "99 things that are super duper puppies and rainbows and make me so happy I frolic around like a little school girl"
Next week, maybe?
Perhaps he needs banana curls and my jumper to polish off the school girl look.
Hahahahaha. EXACTLY! With my Purple catwoman glasses.