SURPRISE! Oh please, like you’re perfect…

by JPW on April 1, 2010

in The DH blog

we like sex…we like it so much we had it before we were married (pause for *gasps*). whether you think it’s right or wrong, we did get married and managed to manifest a beautiful little girl embedded in mommy before vows were exchanged (pause for double *gasps*). but that’s for another post…

LCW often pondered aloud to me, “I wonder how I will tell you about the next baby?”. Well, brace yourself for a very interesting story…b/c last night, she had her chance to do more than ponder (pause for triple gasps…*thud* <- me passing out). Hot diggity dog…here we go. Last night after we had arrived home, LCW said, “I have to go change Ry”. I said “oh, I’ll do it” and she flighted back with a terse “no, i’ll take care of it” as the puzzled looked flanked across my face. Um, okay, I’m not gonna fight over it, you can have the poop. She brought Ry back out in a little pink outfit and asked if I would play with her while she made dinner. I of course agreed and Ry and I proceeded over to her play area to count blocks, hit a drum and yell at fluffy toys (i dunno, maybe they deserved it). After a few minutes LCW asks, “do you like what Ry is wearing”? I throw back the numbing, “yeah, it’s nice”. LCW has to spell it out for me…”do you like her shirt”? I pick Ry up and slowly start reading “I A-M A B-I-G S-I-S-T-E-R”….all of the sudden I can feel my heart beating faster and faster….and then…and then….april fools. I’m not sure how LCW will tell me about our next baby…but I’m sure i’ll be oblivious to her subtle and clever hints.

seriously though, our 1st anniversary is this coming sunday (yeah 4/4 so I wouldn’t have to remember, although something about even numbers makes my left eye twitch). so the classic 1st anniversary gift is…paper. wtf…paper! hmmm…paper…paper…like I can give her a stack of engineering paper and we’ll call it legit? what a lame 1st anniversary gift…who put this list of anniversary ideas together anyway (had to be a guy)? Whoever it was knew that we’d have a kid and be largely living a single income. so i turn to my trusty friend google and did a lot of research on what other people did for their 1st anniversary…paper flowers (lame), a card (lame), poetry:

love me tender, love me sweet
kiss my rear and then it’s complete

…there…all done. obviously i’m joking..and i don’t write poetry…therefore…lame. wedding photograph (we have lots of those already), origami (i can barely make a paper football), paint a picture (sha’ right), frame your first email (lame and nerdy…umm, no), create a collage of events you’ve done, hide notes of ways you love her, have your kids make her something, no, no, wtf..have ryann make her something? oh yeah, b/c nothing says i love you like forcing your kids to make something for your wife…no thanks.

I have a few things in mind…but of course I can’t say what they are yet. I need some help here. What did you guys do for your first anniversary (plus tell me what your husband got you and if he spent the next two weeks roughing it on the couch)? What would you have rather done (keep it civil down there in comments land…mmmkay)?

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