Leashed children, hovering, and open closets

by JPW on February 4, 2010

in The DH blog

This is going to be a new weekly series written by JPW every Thursday.

Before I start, you deserve to get to know me a little. I’m an easy going guy. And I’m not just patting my own back saying that. Ask anyone who has ever met me and they’ll tell you that I’m pretty laid back. I won’t be trampled on or disrespected, but I really don’t care if we eat pasta every night of the week (eventually I’ll need a steak). I have to clean up poop (dogs or ryann), deal with puke (from everyone except myself), do dirty dishes, take out the trash, fix things around the house, and go to work every day. I’ll even let LCW snatch the remote and change it from Mythbusters (best fact show on cable) to 16 and Pregnant (possibly the worst). You get it, not a whole lot gets to me. But the best way to get to know someone is to know what bothers them. So here are the top five things that just irk me to the core:
#5) Open closets: Don’t judge me; I know what you’re thinking right now, “What a stupid thing to get up in arms about. Children are starving over the pond and you can’t stand to have a closet door open.” Every time LCW leaves the pantry door, closet door, or linen closet door open and I notice it, I run over to shut it and make it known to her that I’m doing it. “Hey…what am I doing here…is this so hard” (okay she might slap me if I talked to her like that, but it’s at least what I’m thinking). Doors are in place for a reason, lets either take the damn thing off or close it, mmkay.
#4) Advertisements: I hate tv commercials, I hate them so much I stopped watching tv and just wait until a show I want to watch comes out on DVD to netflix. I hate radio advertisements even more. Stupid commentators¬†talking about stupid things that you’ll forget in a day or two. Some celebrity did this to some other one and is now doing this guy and not that one while sleeping with this one and this one died…who gives a flip. I do watch some tv now with the wifey laying in bed but try my best to hit mute if we’re sitting through a commercial or turn down the volume if it’s the radio. I also don’t want subject Ryann to an early lesson about the female menstrual cycle by some poorly placed tampon commercial on Spike tv¬†(dear God, please don’t let them do this during the super bowl, thanks).
#3) Children on leashes: I don’t care if you’ve just harvested The Get Along Gang from your womb. Children were not meant to be strapped into 4 foot leashes like wild animals and yanked all over town.
#2) Gum smacking in close quarters: This is pretty specific and aimed directly at my mom. God bless her and I love her so much. She will wait until we’re in the car onward to a destination two hours plus away and start smacking her gum loud enough to put cows chewing cud to shame.
#1) Hovering: A fast climbing #1. This wasn’t even on my radar until about a year ago when I started doing repairs around the house. I love doing handy work and fixing the items be it big or small around the house or car. It’s fun and allows me to be technical with approved honey-do time from LCW. But when someone is looking over my shoulder telling me how something should be done, the final scene of Scarface runs through my head, I am Tony Montana. Don’t ask me how much longer it’s going to take or tell me it’s getting dark or ask what the problem is or why it’s taking so long. The “I thought you said this would be easy” is the worse. I’m trying to take something apart built by someone with hands half my size…give me a moment please.

This list changes quite often so this post will see a revisit in the future. That sums up a quick rummage into what LCW has to put up with on a daily basis. Anyone else have a weird irk lurking inside them?
Related Posts with Thumbnails

Previous post:

Next post: